Holy Hilarity Enthusiast Pillows

'You've all been whining a lot lately, so this week's sermon is from the 'Book of Lamentations'....'

"I mistakenly stood in the doorway when kids sunday school released."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Night-time halo

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Mr. and Mrs. Angel

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I don't want this job. I worked all my life and retired. I like being retired.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'And your class story is an old, old one. In the middle of successful soul-snatching careers you were suddenly bitten by the lawyering bug...'

'It's my latest novel, 'Hard Times' part 2.'

"Did you really think you were getting in here?"

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'We are gathered here...'

God's Law.

"Holy Mackerel!"

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'