Hollywood Scheduler T-Shirts

There's nothing awesome to see at the movies these days. What're you talking about? Avengers 2 just came out. I know. It's been out for like an entire weekend. It's old news. The next blockbuster is "Mad Max," and that's not out until the 15th! Hollywood is totally neglecting the entire May 4th-to-May-15th window! That kind of gaping hole is unconscionable. You can always watch "In the Name of My Daughter."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Please sit down. I can give you five minutes.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"I'm busy this afternoon, but I can crayon you in for Saturday."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

'Who wants to work late again, raise your hands.'

Canadian film production

Danger Slow Sand.

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

‘I've cleared the morning, but you've got bandits at twelve o'clock ...'

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I'm swamped but I can squeeze you in for a few moments yesterday."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Do I have many meetings today?"

"I can give you a little bit of focus on 2:53 next Thursday."

Tom Hanks

'I sense we might be having a problem with our appointment scheduling.'

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

"Which part are you reading for?"

"Hey look, my To Do list! I haven't been able to find this for weeks!"

Film Star Robert de Niro

Hair Traffic control.

'Time management seminar. Start: five-ish.'

"They tell me you're a man who has True Magritte."

Martin Scorsese

God's Sticky Notes

'Vital mission - movie parody'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."