Hollywood Worker T-Shirts

"I see you do all your own stunts."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Canadian film production

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'Hey, Charlie, have we got good news for you!'

Enterpe, Terpsichore, Calliope, and Bernie, their agent.

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

Tom Hanks

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"Which part are you reading for?"

Moulin Rouge Security

'Vital mission - movie parody'

Hollywood Breakup

Los Angeles, 1928: Mickey Mouse Emerges from the Primordial Ooze.

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Blockbuster Billion Club

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"So, do you see yourself as a car valet who writes screenplays or a screen writer who parks cars?"