Hollywood Historian T-Shirts

"You need a transplant, but there are very few good parts for middle-aged women."

When lice dream.

Baby Jane wrote a letter to daddy.

Remake of a better film your parents saw.

'She'll be back!!!'

'I choose what movie I'm going to see based on the politics of the star.'

'Before product placement, the chair belonged to Brando!'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Liza Minnelli

Ed Asner - 1929-2021

Diane Keaton

Janet Leigh caricature

"I know I haven't been teaching very long, but I really thought I'd feel more like Sidney Poitier by now."

Sir Roger George Moore caricature

Gene Tierney caricature

Peter Lorre caricature

Hollywood Sex Scandal

Arnold Schwarzenegger

James Robertson Justice

"Honey, It's Steven and he's talking sequel!"

Hollywood Breakup

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"He's a real throwback. He does all his own publicity stunts."

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

Bob Fosse

Never Worked in This Town Again

"A P.R. Intern Named Salome with the Head Shot of John the Client."

"Tell me again—which blond actress is she the blond-actress daughter of?"

"Although the depiction of gangland activity in this film is not accurate over all, I would like to go on record as saying that I am not entirely displeased with Mr. Robert De Niro's portrayal of a gentleman whom I take to have been a former associate of yours truly."

Hollywood Think Tank

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Djargo.