Hollywood Humorist Gifts

Now playing: 'The passion of big box office profits'.

"Hey, I'm a big fan of your work. I loved you in Godzilla!"

"One for 'Romance in Paradise' and one for two hours in hell."

Hollywood in tiny glimpses

'Do you have an agent?'

Maps to the rehab facilities of the stars.

'You may be a werewolf but we prefer computer generated special effects. It looks much more real.'

"I promised I'd be around long enough to reinvent and repackage each of you one more time, but the Big Talent Agent in the Sky seems to have other plans for me!"

Closing Laugh Movie Film: Gone with the Wind!

Emergency Hipster Beard

"Right now Arnold Schwarzenegger is doing sit-ups."

'Therapy in L.A.'

'The good news is, I did find the jumper cables!'

Gangsta wrap.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"I think you're beard needs a trim..."

Hipster Police Department

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"Bless me father for I have allegedly sinned."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

Three-way mirror

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

"... And that's an 18-pound piece of tofu I shot at Whole Foods."

Dion hires an image consultant: Ineresting. Now let's try Western and then Hip-Hop.

'Thank God I don't live in a Jimmy Choo!'

"A spectre is haunting Europe, the spectre of hipsterism."

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

"It's nothing new. We've always offered a complimentary beard wash following an order of ribs."

"Oh, it's the best thing since small-batch, artisanal, unsliced bread."

Now you can buy shares online. "Buy Cher's What?"

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"I'm not sure if that's William Shatner or Deadpool without his mask."