Hollywood Dreams Gifts

"So your agent doesn't like your lawyer, and your PlR. people don't like your manager. They all like you."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Reese Witherspoon

Canadian film production

Big screen TV.

Could you see anything in her? I certainly couldn't! (Man's eyes are popping out of his head).

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

The Life and Times of Miley Cyrus

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Marilyn's Rushmore

"And the award for the best use of AI in a movie goes to..."

Tom Hanks

"I love being your agent, Nick, but the guys making the really big bucks now are the managers. Let me be your manager."

"Which part are you reading for?"

"All the good ones are either married, gay or Viggo Mortensen."

"We both see Ben as this summer's breakout child."

George Clooney Machine

Film Star Robert de Niro

JET (Part I)

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'

Martin Scorsese

Hollywood producer.

'Vital mission - movie parody'

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.