Hollywood Classics Gifts

Robert Mitchum

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Leslie Caron.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

Tarzan of the damn dirty apes.

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Canadian film production

Solar Frankenstein

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Why you've never heard of Ricky Rat.

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

Buster Keaton

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"Which part are you reading for?"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

Tom Hanks

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

Film Star Robert de Niro

'They're alright if you like Charlie Chaplin inflight movies.'

Martin Scorsese

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"Me Tarzan. You CGI."

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'