Hollywood Classics Gifts

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"... And finally, I’d like to thank the FDA for approving Botox."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

'I don't believe it. Five minutes after he gets the darn thing, he has an arrest!'

Meet Me Outside St. Louis

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Why didn't you simply open the window?"

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Solar Frankenstein

Canadian film production

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Tom Hanks

Did you ever get that feeling in the moonlight?

"Citizen Kane first draft... Citizen Kane By Orson Welles & Herman J. Mankiewicz Int. Kane's bedroom Kane's old voice Call a freaking ambulance! Rosebud..."

"Which part are you reading for?"

'For the actress who benefitted most by rehab...'

Old Wine in an Old Bottle

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

I'm Spartacus.

'Because it was there, Dave, because it was there.'