Holiday-themed Items Gifts

Festistive Devices

"Sales of banana flavoured reindeer soap are dreadful...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what Christmas is all about!"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"I don't know why you always have to choose the same hide-and-go-seek hiding spot that I do, Tommy!"

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"That'll be five bucks."

Halloween may be a little different this year.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Ninja bread men"

Daughters on the beach

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'How very Cumbria.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Non-Denominational Carols

'I told you to invite a friend over.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'