Holiday Spirit Embracer Pillows

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"Not again!"

'Never mind that. I think I've just discovered a new planet!'

Old Mother Goose Nursery Rhymes

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

Why are you insisting on spending Christmas in hospital, Gran? I prefer the Santa here, darling.

"Well, what would YOU like for Christmas?"

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Peace on Earth

"I didn't get anything I asked for last year so I want your acceptance of this year's list to be notarized."

'Listen, Santa. Either you repay what you owe, or we reposses Rudolph!'

'OMG! Is it Christmas already?'

"Your dad says he's sorry. . . he'll be late for Christmas. He got hung up at work, again."

"Santa's elves have to eat, you know."

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Drones deliver gold, frankincense and myrrh to baby Jesus.

'Son, you're old enough now to know, there's no such thing as Christmas.'

"Well, I'm sorry, but that's what happens when you micromanage!"

Child Testing Santa Claus's Generosity

'Here, Santa. My wish list wouldn't fit on paper, so take this flash drive.'

''Amazing amount of assembly required'.'

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

"We're letting you go, delivering by drone is cheaper."

Cat plays the cello

Christmas tree wishing to hang tree cutter

He's come up with some GREAT ideas on how to improve our global delivery schedules.

'Wouldn't it have been easier to cut off the top of the tree?'

'Hey Larry! Jim here! Haven't seen you since way last Christmas! How the heck are ya, dude?'

'Free gifts to every kid in the whole world? -- Are you a Keynesian or something?'

'Since when is good will towards men a crime?'

Well, you did put it on your Christmas list!

"If you can't bring me cash, bring me stuff I'll be able to sell on eBay.!

"I'd like something for Christmas, too...a new job!"