Christmas Cheer Embracer Pillows

"It must be lovely listening to this festive music all day."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

'Red for me, please.'

Cat on guitar

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

North Pole.

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

"Ever notice how everyone's nice this time of year? Kids behave. Neighbors, friends, relatives - even workers at the office - smile more. The mailman has a friendly wave, folks seem to go out of their way to be nice..."

Kringle: The Decca Years

Noel Fever

About Santa 2017.

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

'The Christ Child'

'Can you hurry up! There are others who wish to use the toilet!'

'computer says no.....el!'

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

'Guys! Check this out - Reindeer Chow in the satellite dish!'

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

'I'll try the turkey, with chestnut and penicillin stuffing.'

Happy New Year

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

Santa playing golf.

The consumer protection act requires me to inform you that I have no real power to grant wishes, but am here for entertainment purposes only.

I've been 'HOLLIED'!

Santa: 8 Items or less

"Maybe we should skip caroling this one."

"Santa gets away with it because it shakes like a bowl full of jelly, not beer."