Christmas Cheer Embracer Pillows

"It must be lovely listening to this festive music all day."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Cat on guitar

"In normal circumstances a full state pension would be an automatic..."

'Red for me, please.'

'Doc I just don't believe in myself anymore.'

North Pole.

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

'That's about as Christmasy as we can get it.'

About Santa 2017.

"Ever notice how everyone's nice this time of year? Kids behave. Neighbors, friends, relatives - even workers at the office - smile more. The mailman has a friendly wave, folks seem to go out of their way to be nice..."

Noel Fever

"Merry Christmas. You Cheerful, Chirpring, Cheeping, Tweeting, Tw*ttering, Twittering Tw*t!"

'I fixed it so we got the night off!'

Kringle: The Decca Years

'Sorry I Ate the Cookies Last Year.'

'Looks like Santa left something for everyone.'

'The Christ Child'

'computer says no.....el!'

'Can you hurry up! There are others who wish to use the toilet!'

'Guys! Check this out - Reindeer Chow in the satellite dish!'

"Ever had one of those days where you don't feel the least bit jolly?"

"What did you think we do after the holidays?"

Happy New Year

'I'll try the turkey, with chestnut and penicillin stuffing.'

'Moving Day' for Christmas Presents

Santa playing golf.

Keep your answers short and in the form of a question.

I've been 'HOLLIED'!

M is for Mistletoe

Santa: 8 Items or less

"Maybe we should skip caroling this one."