Holiday Rush Pillows

"I've got a rare, front-row parking spot. I know I can't stay here during the holidays, but I'm allowed to dream."

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

"Ninja bread men"

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'With all the tanning lotion, sun block and moisturizers, we're more coated with batter than the onion rings!'

Non-Denominational Carols

"I am not a workaholic. I just work to relax."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Christmas Pets

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Panettone

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!