Holiday Retreats Gifts

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Man sunbathing on the beach.

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

"Oh, boy. Comfort food."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.

'He's telling them it's time to head south.'

Snowman buying sun tan oil

Flying the kite in strong winds

Fake News, 50 cents.

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

Summer

Skedaddle travel.

Weekend Getaways with Ulrich

Self Storage Unit

''To listen to the sea, press 1...'

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

Go away

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

'Hey, this is not exactly what I had in mind when I paid for this Mystery Tour...'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

"I bought a new summer condo."

Ocean sounds $1.00

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

"Working vacation."

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'