Holiday Retreats Gifts

"You wanted a romantic getaway, so...get away."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"We should have done more to bring all the things we were trying to get away from."

Man and woman on donkeys at the beach

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

Man sunbathing on the beach.

"Photo safaris are not what they used to be: They seem more interested in taking selfies than photos of us these days..."

'Therapy always works best in a safe environment ... such as your old tree house.'

"I wish there was a way to get out of the city this summer without leaving Manhattan."

'You know, if we had a bed and breakfast, we could use it ourselves!'

"Oh, boy. Comfort food."

Desert Island Statues wearing bucket hats.

'He's telling them it's time to head south.'

Flying the kite in strong winds

Snowman buying sun tan oil

Skedaddle travel.

'Today's Presentation: God's Miracles.'

"No thanks, I need time away from madness."

'Separate rooms please, we're on our second honeymoon.'

Fake News, 50 cents.

''To listen to the sea, press 1...'

Self Storage Unit

Weekend Getaways with Ulrich

Summer

Busy thoughts of people at a silent retreat.

I'D RATHER BE IN MIAMI, 'Oognik, I'd like to talk to you about your attitude...'

Go away

'Hey, this is not exactly what I had in mind when I paid for this Mystery Tour...'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Musings of a Marooned Mountain Man

"I bought a new summer condo."

Ocean sounds $1.00

"That's why I come here for the weekends - 127 acres."

'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'

"Or, is it the perfect beach day because there's no one here to p*** us off?"