Holiday Pageant Fan T-Shirts

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Anything but milk and cookies."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

Beauty contest

'I hope everyone likes ostrich.'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

Miss America IQ pageant.

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

Blank Inside

7th annual weird fishes pageant

'I could wile away the hours / Conferrin' with the flowers / Consultin' with the rain...'

Beauty Contest