Holiday Pageant Fan Pillows

'I play an evolving character, In the second act, I'm a piece of pie,'

Miss America IQ Pageant

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

Easter Candy Island.

"Why, Vicar, I'm Eve in the Garden of Eden, surely..."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Is that enough peace on earth, Miss? I've got my tuba lesson in ten minutes and kickboxing at six...'

Hospital gown pageant.

Miss Advertising transformed in the dressing room.

Graham really wanted to play Joseph, but deep down he knew what part he'd get again.

Circus Pageant

'For one of these girls, dreams of royalty are over...'

"She really lights up a room. Face it Patty, we don't hold a candle to her."

'You guys like to get into the holiday spirits?'

"Congratulations to Miss Jupiter."

5lbs + 5lbs= ?

'Weren't they the ones who had wished for world peace?'

Woman wearing Miss 1977 sash: 'Things pretty much went downhill from there.'

'I hope everyone likes ostrich.'

Beauty contest

Dear Diary, today I'm feeling beautiful...

"Poor lady, she never wins these pageants. She has a really weird run."

Westminster's fine, but this show is just sick. Puppies & Tiaras.

Miss America IQ pageant.

'In our class's Christmas pageant, I'm playing the department store manager.'

“It’s the same everywhere: body over brains.”

'I wonder if I would be allowed to wear a baseball cap.'

Favorite author? Whoever wrote the Bible.

"Bearing in mind that Santa has fact checkers, have you been a good little boy?"

7th annual weird fishes pageant

In this pageant contestants must knowingly provide incorrect responses to questions. Ah, "Miss Information"!

Beauty Contest