Holiday Overindulger Gifts

Bowl Games.

Man & ham. A cautionary tale.

"Do you think there's ANY possibility that the 76 pints of lager,13 bottles of wine and 12 kilos of chocolate you've had MAY have contributed to you feeling 'a bit under the weather'?"

"Pepperoni pizza is my favorite! Ah, Billy, you little suck up!"

"Cut down on the Ho-Ho's."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

M.D. I suppose that will be okay, but no more milk and cookies starting tomorrow.

"30 million cookies and thousands of gallons of milk all in one night? Yes, I'd say we've got dietary issues to address."

'Red for me, please.'

Swearing and fighting in a caravan

"He's looking for the next big leftovers holiday."

'I think we floated a little 'too far' down stream.'

The only sound preventative health advice for holiday eating.

Too full after after Christmas dinner!

Thoughtful kiddies' midnight snacks overtax my bulging slacks … The load I haul back to my shack is bigger than the one I packed.

"Wow, another turkey sandwich?"

Holidays are Here, Think!

"Unwind - you're on holiday."

'Great, more trans-fats and cholesterol!'

'It must of crept on over christmas...'

Santa opens Summer Sale.

Underneath an overweight.

Overweight Man Talks to Servant Boy

"How's your digestion?"

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

Things you'll never hear me say.

I'm taking you off the milk and cookies diet.

'Yeah, me, too — I gained it all back over the holidays.'

Sign in Cafe says 'We put on a Thanksgiving feast' and sign in window of next door gym says 'We take it off.'

I'd like the double mocha caramel eggnog latte with nutmeg and holiday sprinkles

'Do you have a diet plan that allows me to eat turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie?'

"How's about this beauty? 28 days, 67,000 calories."

Rosh Hashanah Expenses

All you can eat buffet - Customer waving a white flag.

'We didn't prepare the goose, Mr. Scrooge. Since we've become veggies, it's porridge for all.'