Holiday Mischief Maker Gifts

George Washington at Christmas: 'I can not tell a lie.'

Santa falls on hard times: 'Numbskulls! I said use lady's stockings!'

"Our little Timmy is growing up! He's recycling the mistletoe for Valentine's Day!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Newt sale

Only a penny! A sensible and ingenious toy for children.

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

Camping-Pong

'No, you can't use your last wish, to wish for another three wishes!'

'See you in two weeks!'

"Gesundheit!"

Oh no ... Outsourcing

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Research shows that while the number of surfers is somewhat constant over the year, there is a sudden increase in casual bathers over Summer...'

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

Teacher to student: 'Nice use of glitter, but you were assigned to do math problems.'

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"I've just discovered this brilliant new ingredients."

Thru The Eyes Of A Lifeguard.

Artist gets pooped on by lots of birds.

Child jumping on a table-tennis table.

It's sure been easier to mess around at work since we decided to bell the boss.

A pilgrim driving a camper leaving the Mayflower ship.

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"Looks like we left out the wrong brownies."

'I'm sorry, I laughed when I saw you in spite of myself!'

"I manage to avoid jetlag by just catching an earlier flight..."

The invisible man makes a pancake

'And watch out for the ... ice.'

Frankie the discount genie

"What about this: we steal from the rich and give it to political action committees?"

"It's festive. But I think it means no candy."

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

"I told you we should have given them treats!"