Holiday Markets Gifts

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Cut Price

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Ninja bread men"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Panettone

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Christmas Pets