Holiday Markets Gifts

"I love November - the crunch of leaves underfoot... the crisp air... the holiday markets..." "... it getting dark by mid-afternoon..." "Okay, that's less enjoyable."

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

Cut Price

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"Ninja bread men"

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

Christmas Pets

Panettone

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."