Holiday Hater Pillows

"It's not that I can't stand the cold - I just hate the holidays."

"I hate this time of year...."

'I hate Mondays.'

I hate Mondays and now I'm developing an aversion to Tuesdays!

'I hate all holidays!'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"Dang it."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

But, mom, I don't want to go to summer camp!

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'Santa's blotto.'

'Monday is too far from Friday, yet Friday is too close to Monday.'

Santa's family holding firearms

Secular Holy Days

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

"And then they literally have a parade."

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.