Holiday Hater Pillows

"It's not that I can't stand the cold - I just hate the holidays."

"I hate this time of year...."

'I hate Mondays.'

'I hate all holidays!'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"I know it's tough to get motivated on Mondays, but..."

Dollar Sign Christmas Tree.

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

"You know I hate birthdays!"

'In my experience, life is good most of the time, but come the holidays, they look at me as if I'm a nuisance...'

Portrait sweating above a fireplace

"I cloned myself to take care of my Thanksgiving duties while I watch football in peace."

'Christmas dinner's almost ready dear.'

'Times are hard so these will have to be presents for Christmas and birthday combined!'

"Dang it."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

"I've never hated Christmas, just people."

'...Then we thought, stuff Christmas, the world is full of naughty brats anyway.'

'Millers said they travelled through Europe? Nonsense! All of their souvenirs have little tags reading 'Made in China'!'

'Your wife didn't do this. I'd recognize your handwriting anywhere.'

'Monday is too far from Friday, yet Friday is too close to Monday.'

'Santa's blotto.'

Secular Holy Days

"Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the heat..."

Santa's family holding firearms

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"Staff, we're having a Cinco de Mayo sale this year!"

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Frankly, I don't know what to believe. They say if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is.'

"And then they literally have a parade."

Scrooge: only-23-days until day after Christmas.

"There are more things I'm ungrateful than grateful for. Why can't we have a holiday for that?"

"Harold wanted to make sure no one takes his chair while we're on holiday."