Holiday Gift For Doctors Pillows

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

Daughters on the beach

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"All my symptoms are old ... "

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

'You are a very good nurse. You're actually listening to what I'm saying.'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"I'll get my 10,000 steps in tonight!"

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."