Doctor's Day Delight Pillows

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Doctor describes inside guts while patient has black thoughts.

"I'm afraid you could go at any time."

He was different from the other doctors. For one thing, he refused to play God.

'Before you see any patients have you completed your hand sterilisation and soap management course?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

"If you'd only come to me sooner I wouldn't have had to go to lunch."

Medical personnel give their hearts

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"I remember when we first met you were an exhausted young doctor! Now you're an exhausted middle-aged doctor!"

'Just follow these simple instructions.'

"All my symptoms are old ... "

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

'My medical school believed laughter is the best medicine.

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"Sometimes I wonder why I spent ten years at medical school and another 20 honing my skills..."

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'It may be more inconvenient, but the 'Reverse Prostate Exam' is a lot less embarrassing for the both of us.'

Nurse pushing the Grim Reaper out of the Surgery room.

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

What Do Doctors Dream About?

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."