Holiday Countdown Pillows

"The best part of Christmastime is waiting!"

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

"Ninja bread men"

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

Friday

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'How very Cumbria.'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Now it fits.'

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

Christmas Pets

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

Panettone

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Today: Yogurt Surprise. We call it "yogurt surprise" because we couldn't read the expiration date on the carton.

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!