Holiday Countdown Gifts

"The best part of Christmastime is waiting!"

Where your mind & battle are los

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Ninja bread men"

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

Friday

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""

Non-Denominational Carols

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Now it fits.'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

Christmas Pets

Panettone

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."