Hoaxes Gifts

'The presence of what look like standard torch batteries proves conclusively that the craft was designed by super intelligent beings so that if it was captured it would be mistaken for a hoax.'

'What? Your Mom and I are gathering as many items as possible to sell for scientific research and you two are here making silly patterns in the corn?'

Alien crapload

Ducks and hares taken in by a wolf at a seance

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

'Yet another sighting of the Inverness cameraman was reported today! Let us know what you think. Is it real or fake?'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Problem Solving

America Off-line.

'We don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's a tax deduction.'

"I don't get it. We work hard all day and look at this slug."

Grass saying: mow me/feed me/weed me/roll me.

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Lawyers On A Plane.

"What … have … you … done?"

"I've got reservations for this evening."

'Care of your new hammock. Let's face it, whatever we write here, you're not going to bother.'

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.

"Psst! If you have any stock tips to pass on, I can probably lighten your sentence for insider trading."

'I think I see why you're progressing slowly in music.'

Witch uses broom from broom share program.

Tired Farmer resting under shade tree.

Dog makes cats float with helium.

"He should be there by now. He left for work an hour ago."

"Guys in third row, making me very nervous. . ."

City Hammock

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

"I avoided the flu all winter...but spring fever finally got me."

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

"We're getting nowhere. First you won't admit you have a problem, then you do, and now you say it's all a big hoax."

"Personally, I never take anything but aspirin."

P.R. Hell: Abandon all hype, ye who enter here.

"Do I really have to add 'Just kidding' after everything I say?"

Castaway on island with just one tree has hammock washed up on shore.