Historical Racing Fan Gifts

The Epsom Derby - Weighing up the Odds

Paul Klee

Ancient Racing

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Stephen Spender.

'This is a nice car Mr...did you have it from new?'

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'I received your list of the type of company car you'd like to receive. The Maserati, Ferrari, Porche and Viper isn't possible, but there is a 1978 Pinto with your name written all over it.'

Formula One car origami

"A classic lowrider bike usually is built on a late 1960's Schwinn 20-inch frame."

"Fill'er up with testosterone."

"Did you see neighhhhhh...bours last night?"

22. Being tireless is good trait to have in most jobs, but not when you're working on a pit crew.

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Pig Trotter

'Golfers rowing a viking longboat.'

Still a Disappointment to his Mother

'Our limo's here.'

1st Place in the Egg and Spoon Race

Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov.

Davy Crocat

August Comte

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'I believe you were first.'

"He used to own a muscle car."

'Bob will be along shortly to marry you. He's looking over a mint-condition, 1965 Mustang that just went on sale.'

Penny Farthing Tricycle

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Only horse I know that likes to start out of the crouch. 6 3.

Christopher Marlowe