Historical Gamblers Gifts

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"You must be cheating - no one's that lucky!"

The deadly sport of cobra staring contests.

'OK Mr and Mrs Johnson let's spin the wheel and find you a child!'

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

"Before we start, does anyone fancy a bet on the outcome?"

Gambling on office building construction

'Today's Odds' sign above a copier showing various odds for machine's malfunctions

-Psst! Back me in the 4:30! -Oh! -Surprised I can talk, huh? -No, surprised you think you can win!

"Oh boy! I've won the- "

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Despite his perfect 'Poker Face'. the others always seemed to know when Toby had a good hand...

"He's been up all night and fell asleep at the wheel."

'Will you make the final table?'

"Would you please come with us, Sir?!"

You need to start formulating a plan to secure your financial future.

Man sees sign on betting shop door listing odds on when the proprietor will come back from lunch.

'...here are this week's lucky fur balls.'

'Well, Dad said he'd take me to the zoo, but the only animals were horses running around a track!'

'Hang on a minute, Mother...why does your care plan include me 'popping to the bookies' for you?'

"Trevor's nose is running."

'My office is boarded up. Why do I get the feeling my boss is still made at me for beating him at poker over the weekend.'

Inventing the roulette wheel.

Gamblers Anonymous: 'Betcha I recover before you do.'

"No point buying our ticket here - the odds of them selling another big winner are ridiculous."

'Whoever's guess is closest to the time when the last needle falls off the tree wins the hundred-dollar pool!'

Lottery Here. Don't you know the lottery is a tax on people who are bad at math? Yes, but we're hoping for a huge tax refund.

"Psst ... it's your bookie."

"Ask your doctor if you're strong enough to day trade options."

'-and make sure you back one to lose THAT shirt on!'

'I'll take Tommy Peters to cry first, for a nickel.'

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"I bet you $10 the next insect we catch is caught in Sector 5..."

The Las Vegas Oddsmakers

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!