Historical Comedian Pillows

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: The First Thanksgiving

'...So one day I just decided to walk away from my mortgage and, well... one thing led to another...'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

Apples for sale

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Vlad the Impala

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

'We might make more progress if we try working as a team.'

'Which one of you told Glurk to stretch before running?'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

"I'd say this pair of sixes beats your hand."

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

The discovery of asparagus.

"Hipsters"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"Right here's fine."

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

'You realize, of course, there's a seven-day waiting period.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

The Fall of Gnome

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

Stonehenge Explained