Historic Building Restorer Pillows

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

"Someday, son, all this will be yours. It'll be under water, but still ..."

Fumes from furniture

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

For sale sign: 'Unique 16th Century cottage. Similar properties wanted.'

'They did a great job in restoring all the 19th century details, but this confounded dress code...'

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Scot country dancing,

Alderman shocked at a proposal to pull down Temple Bar

Architects and Engineers - Restoration of old Buildings.

Under New Mismanagement

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Cleaner cleaning up the paintings in a gallery.

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

Restored antique carriage in A.D. 2500

"I told you she'd had some work done."

Man defaces a painting to make it fit above his fireplace.

Leaning Tower of Pisa

"It's just a hunch, but you may have the power set too high on your pressure washer."

"We had an expert restore all the original shag carpeting."

Painting Mona Lisa.

The Death of Chatterton - After Restoration