Hiss Detective Gifts

'I finnaly located what was causing that hissing sound on the tractor.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

'I think I've found what's been causing my funny buzzing sounds.'

The lunar landing of Appollo 11 is shown as a hoax filmed in a studio.

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'We're sure they're in there... but we're not certain if they have weapons of mass destruction.'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

Mouse with map exiting maze.

Mystery section...

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

'Fingerprints on your laptop screen?... wow, that's a real mystery.'

"And, should you ever lose the key to the city, I hid another one here."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

Testing the Big Bangs theory.

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

"I keep hearing this annoying buzzing noise!"

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Closing Laugh Mystery Publications

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

'Don't be absurd, Holmes. There is no way Moriarty could get at our Swiss account!'

The Sleep of Reason Produces Bureaucracy

'Did you see who pushed you?'

'No, it's not the Rapture - The kids next door got a trampoline.'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

"Don't let the organized desk fool you. I have no idea where my computer files are."

Information and Still don't get it.