Hipster Investor T-Shirts

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

'I don't believe in hoarding cash and gold Dad: I invest in shares online...'

Woke Jersey Shore

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

What your guitar says about you.

Artisanal Pottery

"Just remember, when he says 'indie' he means Indianapolis."

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

The Inventor of the Man Bun.

"So, I’d love for us to think of this as less of a trial and more of a curated trial experience."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Hipster Coffee

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

Gentrification of the Fridge.

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"It's from the We Experience Parenthood More Fully Than You collection."

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"It's a fashion statement!"

"I don't want the burger on a trendy wooden platter, the egg on Welsh slate or, my fries in a terracotta pot - I want soup served in a sock!"

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."