Hipster Shopper T-Shirts

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

"We're checking ourselves out after making our own salads and grinding our own coffee...they should be paying us!"

Wifi in Hell

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"He's deliciously vintage."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

Hipster Coffee

"Mind if we go through the Park? There's this ailing ginkgo tree I want to check on."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

Vendo Tree.

Gentrification of the Fridge.

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

Feed & Grain. Credit Cards and E-Payments Only. Being a cash cow is tougher than it used to be.

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

Hipster Yard

"You want to be a WHAT?"

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

"It's a fashion statement!"

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

Stormtrooper takes off the helmet.

"No Wilson, I don't want to hear your daily mantra."