Hipster Fashion T-Shirts

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I should warn you that I've stopped thinking of my moustache as ironic."

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"He's deliciously vintage."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

The Organic

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'm your hip replacement."

Can I get you another coffee?

Homing Beatnik

"Golly, bongos and espresso! You folks haven't changed a bit."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"Our flavors of the day are Prodigal, Importune, and Mal de Siècle."