Hinduism Gifts

It was a very, very interesting day.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more.'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"Mostly been praising Krishna a lot."

Om, I will kill him, ooommm. Om, I will kill him, ooommm... Jack would later be charged with premeditated murder

OM, SWEET OM

There's no way you could have attained Nirvana already — you don't even have hemorrhoids yet.

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more.'

'See what happens when meditation isn't supervised?'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'The trouble is, once you've attained enlightenment, it's all downhill.'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

'That's old Goopta - he decided to quit at the top of his game.'

Wife: 'It's for you, honey - the Reincarnation Society.'

"I'm having trouble with my long-term memory -- I can't remember my earlier reincarnations."

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

'Yes, all at once!'

Non-Denominational Carols

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Minyan Man! You've saved the day again!'

'"Einstein, Szilard, Teller, Oppenheimer...but you look through the Old Testament and through the Talmud, and there's not a word about physics."

Couch and Potato

'Number three?', 'This is NOT a quiz!'

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what is good on Netflix.

"In da house"

'Of course, in the long term we're all extinct.'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

Teddy Boys' Picnic

"I thought I'd be lonely at the top."

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

'Hey, you little punks wouldn't be trying to swamp me, would you?'

Biblical Jewish Medical Ethics

"Now that I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want, my life has no structure."