Hilarious Office Survivor Gifts

Office zombie.

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

'Wake me up when he doesn't use a buzzword.'

"I feel your pain."

'Your main goal in this job is getting out alive.'

A man is in an office, behind him is a glass box containing a glass and a bottle, there is a sign saying 'in case of emergency'

"We should have taken the cubicles."

"Wow - you say you're a workaholic, but your office says it's time for your vacation!"

"You're doing great, only thirty-one more years to go."

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"I may be incompetent. But, if you fire me there'll be no one who knows less about this company than you."

Office Weather

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"Of course I have a life. Not one worth living, mind you."

Getting through the week.

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"Granberry, you're about to suffer a near-death experience!"

'Chin up, Simpson, it's for the good of the firm.'

"When everyone's an 800 pound gorilla, nobody's an 800 pound gorilla.".

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

Twisted Peel works overtime.

"I don't understand, having a pulmonary embolism isn't on his to do list!"

Exhausted employee

"I'm putting you in charge of this project because you're already miserable."

"I am totally ready for this presentation."

"I hate when she drags herself to work. Am I supposed to feel guilty?"

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'Nothing serious. I just hate my job.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

"You've seen Grace under pressure. Here's Grace after the pressure is off."

'Harlow, do you wnat to be part of the problem or part of the coverup?'

"Leadership is all about making sacrifices and you are OURS!"

Jenkins here has been with the firm the longest,