Hiking Advocate Gifts

"Getting dark, Sweetie. Better text Mom you love her."

Deforestation.

"Let me assure you that my congressional delegation and I are devoting our full attention to the harmful effects of e-cigarettes. . ."

"I'm not having it if it's been genetically modified."

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Oh, honey, look! Just under that candy bar wrapper, next to the empty Bud Light can and to the left of the plastic bag... a salamander!"

"Privates Beach"

'Some of these trees have been here for 2000 years... and they still can't talk. Man, we're awesome!'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

"Unfortunately, there's no cure—there's not even a race for a cure."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

Now Simon would have nightmares about his mother's failing eyesight.

"For most people, the sense of panic will be mild."

"Yes, also it keeps you fit."

'Let me get this straight- you went to a GUY-ne-cologist, to discuss MEN-o-pause?'

"The only problem with living at the top of a mountain is the constant stream of people coming to ask stupid questions."

"When are you gonna roll in something?"

Covid and the Vaccines

Vaccine

Prostate: 51st State

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'According to these latest tests, anything can cause anything.'

"Your membership entitles you to 15 books,45 posters,200 leaflets and umpteen stickers!"

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

30 Days Has Movember

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

"The tuna is endangered, the lettuce was recalled and the tomatoes were hit by a drought. I can give you mayo on a roll."

Uncle Sam: I want you..to live and pay taxes...stop smoking!

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

Germany: willingness for anti-corona vaccination decreases!

'Bob, wait!!! Nice try, bear.'