Highlight Reel Fan Gifts

"We're letting you go, Hermanson. You're making all the sports blooper shows, but none of the highlight shows."

A watch face with Stonehenge

Ticket - At the Theatre in the Hay Market - The Authors Benefit Pasquin.

The Lemmings of Montauk

Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'

"I love my luvvie."

Thanks to an elaborate system of mirrors, every employee at Vecon Industries had a window view.

"You've done an absolutely fabulous job with the house, Anne, and Gordon's so improved!"

"The director told me we were going to green-screen the cat in!"

'Love your renovations.'

"Best Hamlet I've ever seen - pity the rest of the cast were doing Macbeth!"

"In recognition of Jim's achievements during his long career with the company, we've put together this hilarious twenty minute gag reel..."

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

'Yeah, Kirby, it hurts like hell, but dang if I can't stop wigglin' it.'

'My gosh...It's like looking in the mirror.'

They put their hands under me so I'll blow hot air. They put their hands under me so I'll run water. You don't want to know what they put in front of me so I'll flush.

Union Troops Foraging for Supplementary Rations in Louisiana

'I miss the days when the only thing I couldn't work was the video.'

"Sorry, Bernie. We found out about your rejuvenating jelly."

Hey, son, want to watch old movies of me playing video games when I was your age? Parents of the Future.

'OK Pal, whatever you say - here comes a bowtie!'

"No recordering allowed!"

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I don't know why I built it for him – he only uses it to look for squirrels.

Budget Toupees.

'Sometimes I sort of miss pre-hair-restorer-Timothy...'

Rollerblades - The aliens did some weird scientific experiments on us.

"I know your sad it's being pulled down son."

Michael Douglas

Wrestlers versus firemen at the scene of a fire.

You are not all here.

'He's cut his delivery time in half!'

Animals on a see-saw.

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 3

"So you're turning this into a lowrider?"