Higher Learning Lover Gifts

'A PhD in baton passing goes to...'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'X is unknown? Even to somebody with all your education?'

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

Super Student

Hanging off every word...

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

"And in the category of 'The Most Amazing Comeback from an Academic Nosedive,' the winner is..."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

"If animals can be cloned, why can't homework be cloned?"

"I'm doing all I can to make the little things count."

'I'm partially passing my Meteorology course.'

End of Affirmative Action

'Dad taught me how to tie my shoes, and I taught him how to program the computer.'

'There's one app we can't give you ... aptitude.'

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

"Well, my IQ is 180--and that's in Centigrade, not Fahrenheit."

"Why don't you try learning from your own mistakes?"

'Knowledge is the ultimate weapon. Next!'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

'Going to Puppy School is so old fashioned Dad: I can do the course through open learning now...'

'OK Sheldon - which part of the Unified Field Theory do you not understand?'

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Where the hell did you get that brain ?

'We think Rome was built at night sir, because last week you told us that Rome wasn't built in a day!'

"I didn't learn anything in school today but I'll learn twice as much tomorrow."

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

"So you can do your homework. That's why you have to learn to read and write."

Dr. Roy G. Biv, Rainbowologist.

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

"So how's that math grade looking? What's the team GPA this year?"