Higher Learning Evolutionist Gifts

Tenure.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

Evolution Exam Results.

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I think we may be related!"

Charles Darwin Book Signing.

"I'm an evolution denier. There's no way those people come from us."

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

"Where are you going? I said we need to talk."

'That's Oog -- he got a haircut and a job.'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

"Are we there yet?"

Fish evolving: 'Write, if you establish a niche.'

Brains - Java Man, Neanderthal Man, Modern Man.

"I'm sending you an interesting article about declining birth rates."

'If only Darwin could have seen this.'

'That's far enough for the first trip -- gather some soil samples and initiate re-entry procedures.'

"And now, speaking against the theory of evolution..."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

'When do they learn to stand upright?'

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

'You know, until we learned to walk upright, I never realized how short you are.'

"Evolution, here I come!" "Oh, no - the sea level is rising!" "There's still a chance!"

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

'Did you really mean both me and a hippopotamus evolved from a tiny blob in the ocean?'