Higher Learning Innovator Gifts

"The good news is that the Remedial Learning Program is more popular than ever, which is also the bad news."

'Your classroom management techniques work in practice but not in theory. That worries me.'

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'Home Schooling'

Mr. Defner's drive-in algebra class was retro cool, controversial and somewhat effective.

'This handheld computer is very useful for teaching. It displays my lesson plan, calander, key files, and an extensive menu of put-downs for hecklers and classroom clowns.'

Technologies and distance classes

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"I believe that's a Montessori school."

"Today in class we're going to create a physics teacher."

'We don't have a cure for your ailment but there is an appropriate app available.'

"Why are all of your answers so mechanical?"

'They say my tests are too hard. Maybe I should switch from Essay to Connect-the-Dot.'

'Brain surgery? I have an app for that!'

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

'I will now read the results of my experiments in fruit genetics. . .'

"I'm starting up a concierge medicine practice. You in?"

"If you keep perfectly still, I can do all five cavities at once."

'Let's put it this way, your Billy is the only kid in class without his own website,,,'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

'You're being evacuated to a better catchment area.'

Education Plan

Student to Miss Belcastro, her history teacher: 'We need some newer history.'

'That was quick!'

'A...B...C...D...E...' - Graffiti on classroom wall.

'In which on-line university will you enroll?'

"We want him to skip joined-up writing and get straight on to 3D printing."

"Instead of burying it, invest in pharmaceuticals."

Looking inside the internal maze,

"I wish school was more like TV."

"I asked the parents to get involved more and now they're home-schooling."

'I find the best way to stop students from always talking to each other in class, is to keep asking questions. Then they have nothing to say.'

'Your student Clara has tested as Talented and Gifted. But only in metal sculpting. You'll need to start incorporating metal sculpting into your daily lesson plans starting...tomorrow.'