High Wire Fan Pillows

'They're call 'spotters', Verl. They make sure she doesn't cheat.'

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Curling your hair for no reason

Teapot

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

Networking

'Disqualified!... He did not yell 'Boing' when he jumped!'

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

'Boy, seven sneezes in a row, that's a record, Julie'

People who understand Venn diagrams

Owl seeing how many times it can twist it's head around - "...14, 15, 16, there goes the record."

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

Tightrope Walker

The stilt walkers union on strike

Flying NHS Walk-in Centre

Bernard Palissy

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

Trainspotters.

"The particle physicists get all the chicks."

"It's raw, unprocessed wool."

'I need just a hair cut off this.'

'So sorry, I thought you were an Anthony Gormley.'

'I still prefer the pipe. A ceremony isn't the same sharing nicotine peace gum.'

'Looks like a contractor coming in expecting to get a big loan.'

"One other thing, when this baby starts rollin, make sure a Health and Safety guy is way out front waving a red flag!"

Just Married

Future world records

Walking a fine line of debt.