High-wire Pillows

"I have to try this before I die."

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"So start throwing together about 10 novels a week and bring them in on Wednesdays."

Writers without borders.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

Kirsten Johnson

'Is this your first book launch?'

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

'Man asleep in double bed with a pencil.'

Temporary and Permanent Writer's Block

Book publishing.

Book publisher telling author about some changes needed.

Destination casinos...

'Radiology confirms that, like many other teachers of English, you do have a book in you.'

"I finally got my wife to read my manuscript. She said the main character was a sleazebag devoid of a moral compass. It's an autobiography."

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

Charles Dickens.

'He's been working on 'Seven Days to Change Your Life' for 8 years and he's only reached Tuesday.'

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'

John Galsworthy

"Winter must be coming. The people in my novel are starting to wear mittens."

"Someone to collect your works, dear."

"Right here is where you lost the narrative flow."

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'Ah, here's your problem - all this spaghetti is real spaghetti.'

Forrest Gander