High-wire Acts Pillows

A slice of bread walks a tightrope between slots on the toaster.

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

The sooner you stop freaking out, the sooner I can take the pic.

'Yes, well I wasn't wearing a harness like that Niagara Falls Wallenda wimp!'

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

'Rollin', rollin', rollin',...keep them dogies rollin'...'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

Casino. Keno. $$$. Win. Cashier. He sure wins a lot! He's "Keno Savvy."

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Destination casinos...

"I was hoping to make billions, but I've settled for making millions."

'Frank said if he ever won a lot of money from online gambling, he wouldn't change, He lied,'

'We ride the storm until greed is back.'

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'I'm all in.'

'I'll see your dirty laundry, and raise you six children.'

No, Carl, I don't know of a cure for the hiccups.

Tightrope Walker

'But Mum, I've got to practise if I want to join a circus when I grow up!'

The stilt walkers union on strike

"My wife helped me become a millionaire. Before I met her, I was a billionaire."

"I deserve this and much, much more."

'Must you make such a big deal out of this?'

Easy Come, Easy Go: Big Splenders Club.

'I came for the $1.99 seafood buffet--I'm staying for the restrooms.'

High wire performer has to stop at traffic lights for crossing trapeze artists.

'I blew the $50 million settlement I got from my ex here in 6 months. Oh, well, that's 3 more than if I had started a winery.'

The first sign of cowboy trouble.

'And then it came to me out of the blue--I could quit while I was ahead!'

'And what makes you think this classroom wasn't wired properly?'

'There I was, balanced on the wire, juggling balls like crazy when this yo-yo in the crowd hits me in the eye with a peanut.'

"Right now all my money is in poker."

'I started to do all my electrical work myself after I hired an electrician who was colorblind.'

'If being a CEO was easy, everybody would be doing it.'