High Street Humorist Pillows

Old lady's mobility scooter has six stickers on the side of pedestrian victims.

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'I met my wife in unfortunate circumstances. I was single.'

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

Designer Kangaroo Pocket

"What other tricks does he need?"

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

F&E Stables. Horses Boarded. The owner of this horse is a huge fan of the late musician, "Prince." That explains the purple reins.

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

"Some idiot spread the rumour that the boss had called in sick! Now look what's happened to the tobacco and coffee stocks!"

The Ladies Who Lurch.

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Magic Act

"Drinking improves my vodkabulary."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

Mo's USA Bar: Tips/Tariffs

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

'Of all the fern bars in Encino, she's gotta walk into mine.'

"It tastes and smells just like a glass of wine!"

"Are you aware that in your submission you misspelled 'deer editer'?"

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"Today, the yen shot up on news it is spelled differently from the 'Yuan'."

Walk, Don't Walk, Laugh.

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

"I knew Heaven would be by Chanel."

'Today stocks dropped on news that the only thing to fear is everything.'