High Stakes Dreamer Gifts

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

What else is there to wish for?

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Basketball

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Basketball.

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

"Don't these fools realize they're violating every principle of feng-shui?"

'My long-range goal is to turn pro and lead the league in product endorsements.'

'Billy - no! Do not ask for his autograph. He'll lose his natural fear of fans, become a nuisance, and then he'll need to be tranquilized and relocated to Europe.'

"Have a career, and then if you want to try acting, you'll have my blessing."

"Why be a princess...when I can be a queen?"

"I'm going to shoot some hoops with members of the Flat Earth Society."

Eric Adams Caricature

"Behind the back, between the legs, around my disappointed parents, nothing but net."

"It's lonely at the top...But it beats being depressed at the bottom."

Entering New York City - Check it out

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

"...and would you like to enroll her in pre-pre-pre-med or pre-pre-law?"

'Will you make the final table?'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'When I grow up, I want to destroy Tokyo!'

"If you work hard enough, and find the right reality show, you can grow up to be anything you want."

Man with a Plan

'Why don't you just screen for stocks that will go up?'

"Where'd you get that?"

"And then he said he wanted $50,000 for it."

"Last dunk and then we need to do work."

"Papi, when I grow up, I wanna be just like you!"

Low-Rent Stockholders