High School Graduation Gifts

"Can we get you another soda, Johnny?"

Father gives son luggage for his 18th birthday.

"How'd you do on your test?"

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"Yep...we were going to enroll him in community college...the car was cheaper."

'Retire? What if I want to go to college if I, you know, finish high school?'

'Just because you graduate from high school next year doesn't make us lame duck parents.'

"The way I see it, high school prepares you for early adulthood, which is kind of a warm-up for your mid-life crisis, and THAT'S when you finally learn what you really should do with your life!"

High School

"If you have to ask, you can't afford it."

"My dad's been on my case...he says I should be preparing for my future career. But what kind of training can I get here for a job that's tough, will make tons of money and highlight my incredible bod?"

"A yearbook is something you will always treasure."

"OK, I've whittled down my list. When I go to college, I'm gonna study either law, biology and engineering...or journalism, medicine, anatomy, political science, forestry, business, math..."

"How come you didn't graduate from high school."

Southwick College: Basically, for the most part, usually - a meritocracy.

'Do I have to pick my major now? I'm still deciding my sexual preference.'

Car party.

'Your mother and I want you to know that you wouldn't be hurting our feelings if you decided not to go to University.'

"Dad, when I leave high school, I want to get a job and help support the family."

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

The intelligent car is just around the corner.

'In which on-line university will you enroll?'

"Well, team, we've been officially disqualified. You can come out of there, Tyler."

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

"How was prom?"

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."