School Graduation Gifts

"If I ever go to Japan, I'm sure the pilot will be able to find it, so why do I have to know where it is?"

Cucumber yearbooks,

'That's Friday, Ed.'

'If life begins at forty, why do they let us leave school twenty four years early?'

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

Sex Education.

School holidays

"This work experience thing has been a real insight into life after school…I've been made redundant."

"When I left home, I was a walking dictionary...abridged edition, as it turns out."

"No, when I said I dropped out of school, I meant I fell out the WINDOW."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

'Their'll bee a reel seen when Dad gets a lode of this sea minus.'

'I'm sure my parents will be relieved they won't have to shell out money for an expensive college.'

Bell ringer.

'Darn!'

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Eternal Student.

Reach for the Star.

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Actually, I'm hoping what I'm going to be when I grow up hasn't been invented yet."

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

"I still haven't decided if I want to be unemployed as an English major or as a Communications major."