School Graduation Gifts

"If I ever go to Japan, I'm sure the pilot will be able to find it, so why do I have to know where it is?"

Cucumber yearbooks,

'That's Friday, Ed.'

'If life begins at forty, why do they let us leave school twenty four years early?'

"My essay is titled Essay: Educational Tool or Tired Cliche?"

Sex Education.

School holidays

"This work experience thing has been a real insight into life after school…I've been made redundant."

"When I left home, I was a walking dictionary...abridged edition, as it turns out."

"No, when I said I dropped out of school, I meant I fell out the WINDOW."

'No, he's right. Cows have three udders. One for skim milk, one for two percent and the third one's for lactose free.'

'It's just one thing after another. The minute they let you out of school, the garden starts to produce.'

Back to School Supplies - 1928 'A new hat?!!' 2006 - 'There's more in the car.'

'Their'll bee a reel seen when Dad gets a lode of this sea minus.'

'I'm sure my parents will be relieved they won't have to shell out money for an expensive college.'

Bell ringer.

'Darn!'

"This is what I think of your stupid imaginary friend."

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

Test Today. I didn't pass the test but I did beat the point spread.

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'When I grow up, I want to be a hydraulic engineer...'

Unable to raise enough money for a trip to Paris, the Bartlesville High French Club had to settle for three days in Tulsa.

Big Bang Theory.

'Hmph. College kids.'

'No Renee, not until you get two degrees, pass a rigorous physical, and beat out thousands of other qualified individuals.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

Eternal Student.

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."