High-frequency Trader Gifts

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Build Your Own Portfolio

Guy has framed 'first Yuan'

Likes: $2.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

European currency on the edge.

'It's okay. We'll just push our retirement plan back a bit.'

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

Tariff Wars

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Money Bar.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

Man pushing Euro sign up a hill.

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

The burden of carrying the Euro.

'Superstock'

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

Chinese stock market

'We must grasp this new opportunity'

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'I've never seen a stock crash so hard.'

US dollar rising and falling.

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

Out of control

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'