Hieroglyphic Decoder Pillows

"A pharaoh who lived by the Nile...And was eaten by an old crocodile."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Writer's block?"

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

Egyptians discussing hieroglyphic spelling.

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

'Will you guys be quiet? These walls are trying to tell me something!'

"The pharaoh wanted the carvings on that wall."

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

Lost to antiquity.

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

Ancient Egyptian Curser

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"I can't take another memoir."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

'Amazing what a little teamwork can accomplish.'

'Remember my son, it's not who you are, but who I was that matters.'

'It seems they couldn't decide if the new millennium begins at 3000 B.C. or 3001 B. C.'

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'