Hieroglyphics Detective Pillows

"This confirms that the Babylonians interfered with the Egyptian elections."

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Writer's block?"

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

'I know what you're thinking.'

'Mena,the presses are about to roll.' 'But I'm STILL writing my column!!'

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

Egyptians discussing hieroglyphic spelling.

"The pharaoh wanted the carvings on that wall."

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

Lost to antiquity.

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

The Nosy Cleaner

Dr. Harper had a special eye exam chart made for hieroglyphics professor patient.

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

"I can't take another memoir."

Ancient Egyptian Curser

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'Amazing what a little teamwork can accomplish.'

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'

'Remember my son, it's not who you are, but who I was that matters.'

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'