Hieroglyphics Decoder Pillows

'I know what you're thinking.'

An archaeologist sees an ancient Egyptian entrance to a subway.

'It says he put the 'Ram' in the 'Rama Lama Ding Dong'.'

'It says I can't access Pharaoh's tablet unless I'm on his buddies list.'

'Roughly translated it says 'Can't remember the code to get into your pyramid? Call Pharaoh Locksmithing.'

Ancient Egyptian Curser

'It says, 'For a good time, call Shirley MacLaine'...'

"What the...They wrapped me in toilet paper!"

Pyramid Handicap Parking

"Writer's block?"

"Is it (eye symbol) before (water symbol) or (water symbol) before (eye symbol)?"

We speak hieroglyphics here.

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"I'm sorry. . . but I can't understand a symbol you're saying."

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

Egyptians discussing hieroglyphic spelling.

"What's a two-dimensional picture for 'rhymes with blinks?'"

"The pharaoh wanted the carvings on that wall."

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

"I crawl that I may savor the richness and diversity of people and places along the way."

'Will you guys be quiet? These walls are trying to tell me something!'

Lost to antiquity.

'Right there is where he departs from the script.'

"I can't take another memoir."

"Oh yes, apparently this one is a copyright symbol."

'Don't be ridiculous, Schaumberg! -- They didn't have Burma-Shave back then!'

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

'Amazing what a little teamwork can accomplish.'

'Remember my son, it's not who you are, but who I was that matters.'

'Not THE Rosetta Stone?'

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

"I'm going to refer you to an ankhologist."