Hey Day Trader T-Shirts

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

Late Stage Capitalism and the Biosphere Engage in Some Meaningful Dialogue...

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Likes: $2.

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

"My tariffs will move the world in a new direction!!"

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

Day trading.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

'Don't tell me how much you love me. Tell me how my stock is going.'

US dollar perched on fragile house of cards.

'Superstock'

Chinese stock market

Hedge Fund: Our 'Swaps' which mimic stocks, were voted #1 derivative of the year!

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

'These latest figure are encouraging...'

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'Now let's proceed downstairs and see where our stock shares presently sits,'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides simulated hand holding when the market is down.'

"I feel I'm doing fine. My sense of net worth is way up this quarter."

'Now that we've moved to Hawaii, I can start trading at 3:30 a.m.--Isn't that great?'

Out of control

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

'I'm afraid the stock price gods are not happy Ralph.'

'Some think we economic forecasters speak a lot of Mumbo Jumbo'

'The 'free market' economic theory is falling!'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Shares Nosedive

"How many times have I told you? No trading Asian market at the dinner table."

'Doesn't bother me. All my money is in carbon-cleanup technologies.'

'Will broker deals for food'

'I actually look forward to hibernating during bull markets.'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

'I know about the birds and the bees. Can you tell me about making a bundle trading derivatives?'